Thursday, March 19, 2009

Fart must go ONnnnn....

1...
2...
3.....And...go...
Durrr..phurr...shhhh..fusssssssphuuuuu...
phew !!!!!!
yes pass...
all the way polluting and passing unhealthy breeze..to be more precise
"Chodo Gandi hawa ka zhoka"  and  your job done!

Yes you all got it right... this art is called FARTtttttting....!!!!!
arrre wait a part of job is left...now to have to be an actor...yes...an actor..
Farting also gives you golden opportunity to show you acting skills..Look all around..the sniffing world is watching you..but only what you have to do is..Have big lo expression on ur face and a question mark on ur forehead....
kisne kiya??
koun hai jalim??

Try to give most disgusting look remember you are in acting competition with other victims..
and feel relax..who knows you are the real culprit....
"Farter ko pakadna mushkil he nahi namumkin hai "

To make this moment more relieving,give a cunning smile no less than a devil from inside..
And if you are the victim..then..take my sympathies.


Second: make sure the gas you expelled, has properly reached to the nostrils of people around you..

Third and most important one: If your bowel is not working according to you.Or your bowels' given up and making some creepy sound.
Sometimes in the same tune as "Dhak Dhak karne laga :P" .(Sorry for snapping back this song).Then quickly call your mathematical brain out and 

Discharge the gas according to best possible calculated rate.


 For eg : 5ppm gas per second with ___pascal pressure.Thus making it noiseless fart.


Note:If the calculated rate is correct, say BINGO. Bcoz you are the next Aryabhatta.

Future extension: For making your fart more smelly,have a proper diet.Eat more beans remember less green,Chana masala,Potatoes or any of such similar stuff  which can challenge your digestive system.


Smile, laugh be happy, don't take everything in life too serious, remember its alright to fart, apparently we all do it on average  8 times a day.  


(This is called farting research :P)
You know what the---- Heights of guts :P . It is Farting on before your date.Have guts yar.Try it.
And I am not responsible for any future attyachar made on you.

Thats all !
Feel free and Proud to fart.Its good for health.
keep farting.
Luv you all..Eat well,Fart well
And keep luving me..even if you find me farting somewhere

70 comments:

Harshita said...

hahahaha...

Sorry...itni hasi aa rahi hain...kursi se hi na gir jaaon main...lol

Kya research ki hain...wah wah... salute maarney ka mann kar raha hain...hehe

Agar jaakar aisey wapas aati ho tum...toh roz gayab ho aur roz aisey mast post lekey aao wapas...:)

peter said...

abe :O

blog-ville ganda kar diya ....eekssss X_X
koi naa lagata hai bahut exp hai :-w
anyways ..
yes
Everyone does it, it's jus that no one likes to talk about it ;)

best of luck for ur projects and all :D

Arv said...

Gal... too much... I was all set for a good power nap when I found myself reading this... big mistake... I have been laughing so hard that all my sleep is gone now...

LOL...

too good... and where on earth did u get the idea to do all these research...

have a fun day da... take care... cheers..

Mads said...

arre :| ladki...got a project on farting kya?? i bet u wont do this good research for ur projects too...
lol.. :P keep luving me..u'll always find me farting somewhere =)) awesome one =))
lovely :D
mine are always noiseless farts :D and not really smelly ones.. :P

good post :) good luck wid ur projects :D

joiedevivre said...

phusssssssss...

teko bohot pata hai haann??...
jab mujhse milegi tab yeh sare kaam nipta ke aaiyo..plzz mein behosh nai hona chahti

Dream'R said...

wah..i ve been enlightened...y dont we find such details in tagore's ya vivekananda's books??...u r a fart guru yaar...have u considered writing a book on it?? thesis even!!...rockin post gal...was a real fun read...


but y do u take so much time to update ur blog re!!

sawan said...

lol, so much of gyaaaan!!!

Shaunak said...

someone's been eating too much of beans and garlic!
yaar, karo zyaada ka iraada

ek baar chhodo, hazaar baar chhodo, yeh chhodne ki cheez hai,
hamaare gas ki hawaaein,
tally ho!!

Mazaa aaya blogdost. Was definitely the smelliest post I've read so far.

Now, where's that can of deodorant?...

Amrita~Ams said...

@harshita
Gir mat re..kuch ho gaya toh next post kaise padhegi mera :D..
thxs dear..thxs for ur words..:)

Amrita~Ams said...

@peter..
ganda :P :P..
dont you try to sound sabhya :P..
not experience..thats called research..:P..
thxs btw:)

Amrita~Ams said...

@Arv..
sry for inserting my fart post between ur hard nap :P :P..
thxs for comment..
research..ummm thats a top secret :P
hv a fartabulous day ;)

Amrita~Ams said...

@Mads
u sure...noiseless n less smeelyy???...
u r an exception in my research :P..
heheh thxs anyways:)

Amrita~Ams said...

@joie..
nahi mai toh beans he kha kar aaaungi..hehhahaheh...:P: P...
arre tu meri inspiration hai..ye sound yad he nahi aaya..phussssss.
:P :P

Amrita~Ams said...

@Dream'R
my parents will b pround of me..U hv taken..tagore,vivekanand..and my name..indirectly refering me as fart guru in a row :P...
happy mom dad :D

hey I wrote dere in P.S....busy with final yr proj re.. :( :(..nyways..but point noted..will come with more crap soon :)

Amrita~Ams said...

@sawan..
hehhe...take it free of cost hai..:D..

@shaunak
lalalla...ek baar chodo..lalalala..
hehehhe...mast song..:D
smellist post..? :-?..ahem ahem :P..
hey I liked when u said blogdost..:)
keep visiting

Pretty Me!! said...

God!! how much you made me laugh !!

- Sugar Cube - said...

cheesy but funny! lol

Dhanya said...

You surely deserve a nobel prize for the amount of quality time u spent doing this research!!! ;) Lol...

Gauri Mathur said...

Hahahahahah!!!

Kartz said...

Hilarious... ;D

** Combo pack of Burping with farting is similar as Malika with rakhi sawant.
- LMAO!

*Sambhal ke zaraa, gas se hai bhara!*

Someone is in their element... ;)

Peace. Be well.

Sam said...

are bhiya itni energy kaha se aati he ? boost se ? bournvita se ?

i need to know kis chakki ka aata khati ho :)

Dewdrop said...

too good... u seem to be in mood to write ur best (or is it from experience!!!) :)

Simply superb!

Femin Susan said...

he he he
enjoyed reading each word of yours.
Have a nice weekend.........

bondgal_rulz said...

Funniest post I've read in a while...LOVED it! :)

Keep them coming.

Cheers

Amrita~Ams said...

@pretty Me..
pleasure mine+++++urs :D..
:)


@sugar

i know cheesy :P...but wat to do..:D

Amrita~Ams said...

@dhanya
ur comment is no less than a nobel prize..thxs :D

@Gauri
thxs for dropping by "hahahahhaha"...
:D

Amrita~Ams said...

@Kartz..
element :P :P
hey nice..lyn..will consult u next tym bfor publishing..
sambhal k zara..gas hai bhara :D :D

@sam
boost n all nahi...
Indori chat ;)

Amrita~Ams said...

@Dew drop
not experience :P
thxs for appreciation :)

@Femin Susan
thxs for each n every words of urs..
u too hav a wonderful tym :)

@bondgal_rulz
sure will write more crap :)
hv a nice tym

Aevi said...

hilarious... just to add Mooli ka paratha :P

the pink orchid said...

it was rofl.. i am sure a lot of people out there will draw fruits from this post of yours.. lol. i am laughing so hard i have tears in my eyes... :P

Phoenix said...

ROFL!!!!

LOL!!

HEHEHE

HOHOHOOH

HIHIH

OOHEHEHEOOO

AAAAAA

IT HURTS

GOD U R EXTREMELY FUNNY!

pseudo intellectual said...

yech!hahahaha....i shall keep it in mind the next time i have...ahem...the inclination :P
good luck with ur project :D

Ria said...

omg!tht was such a smelly post.... :P But funny never the less!! Lol!!

Simple Syed said...

Combo pack of Burping with farting is similar as Malika with rakhi sawant. -- lolz :P :P - best line :D

farting research -- lolz looks like this was done on urself :D

Next time on ur date, I hope the guy doesnt say .. thoda gaa ke sunao na :P lolz

I think the game BLUFF-MASTER was inspired by someone farting and acting innocent :P :P

Trinaa said...

omg!!! MUAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!

Aki said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Aki said...

Jesus !!!

my god..i can understand its difficult to find topics for d blog...but cumon...dat was d most smelly blog i hav come across(keeping in mind I read only ur blog) :P

Chronicwriter said...

haha..

you farter..

i have experimented with all type of farts...

farting in the swimming pool is great fun..

www.chronicwriter.com

Amrita~Ams said...

@aevi==
muli muli...hmmm..u seemed to b experienced too :P

@pink orchid
hehe..I m hoping the same....they shud draw fruits,vegetable..or ny items they can :P ehhehe

Amrita~Ams said...

@Phoenix..
hehe
hoohoho..
hhehohehe..
thxs for the rhyme yar ;)

@Pseudo
inclination :P..better keep that proper :P..
heheh..
thxs dear

Amrita~Ams said...

@ria..
yeah..i agree with you..shoddy...funny..smelly post ;)

@syed
hehehe..
i m the director of that show..actaully.
again a top secret ;)

Amrita~Ams said...

@trinna
ur laugh is an indication of?? :P : P

@aki..
thxs...
hope you find more smelly blogs:P ..heheh

Amrita~Ams said...

@chronicwriter

oye..u farter...join me in my next research,,, :P :P..

Faheem said...

wow..!! another funny post.. I was totally off my chair while reading this.. :)

Suyog said...

this is the new avatar of u i guess..................coz never gotta chance to hear such things frm u


anyways it was awesome and this research is really awesome as yeh koi kuch dino mein nahi kar sakta....:D

Jagjit said...

fug!! i am dying laughing. i dint believe it's a girl's blog. believe me i have read 'amrita' ten times before commenting. an still not sure u'll turn uot to be a guy and say, 'yeah amrita, but i m a boy'. but really, the descriptions and the detail... starting was kinda gross but wth, it was interesting. never knew so much about farts. thanks! blogrolling ya. :)

Amrita~Ams said...

@Faheem
hope u r all rgt after falling from chair :D..:D


@suyog
ur welcome.. :P..yeah true said every research need tym :P

Amrita~Ams said...

@Jagjit..
y to doubt on gender,,,gal r having the equal rights to fart :P :P..
urs welcome..:D..keep farting
thxs for dropping by..keep visiting :D

Arnav said...

Interesting Really interesting :)

BTW I loved the line "ONLY WHEN IT IS DARK ENOUGH ,YOU CAN SEE THE STARS" - which u wrote in the title ...
Keep Farting .. I mean Keep Blogging :)

Resurgence said...

Gal... sahi post hai... :)aur haan beans ke saath saath muli (radish hi kehte shayad use angreji me) ke bhi effects sahi hote hain (more lethal I would say)... :) Aur haan tere post se mujhe ek naye superhero ka idea bhi aaya hai... Fart-Man (:D).... apne projects par dhyan de... aur sach maan projects are much better than xams... at least U have ample scope to free-ride and have loads of fun while doing them which is not possible in xams (Though they are less strenuous for Engineers... bas last
night fight hi to maarni hoti hai... :) )

Amrita~Ams said...

@arnav
thxs..for ur words man..
keep farting i mean visiting ;)

thxs for the visit :)

Amrita~Ams said...

@Resurgence..
hey long tym...missed ur comment yar.
radish..lethal effetcs hehehe...lolz
oye..haan write about it..will be fun..fart-man :P :P
yeah..true..proj work is fun
but when ur not done wit it...n dead lyn is before you..then it is no more fun ;)(its lyk runnnnnnnnn :P :P)

Chetan said...

seriously knwledge-filled post..odrwise i wud hve neva knwn tht i DO IT 8 timez in a day....lolz...nd yea its definatley gonna b a tuff chllnge to fart on ur date nd tht too wen ur date iz hvinn sooo muc in-depth knwledge abt farts nd its modus-operandi as u ......lolz..

Shrav said...

ewww, :) hilarious post!! FART by my blog sometime! :)

mayz said...

hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!
now thats some info...lotsa research gone into that post...well done!!!

Amrita~Ams said...

@chetan
hmm true said..so better dont fart ;)

@shrav
visited ur blog..u got a nice one ;)
nyways thxs for d visit :)

Amrita~Ams said...

@mayz
hehe..yeah..research was....quite a tuff job u c ;)
thxs for the visit :)

Femin Susan said...

Good one. Enjoy.......

Keshi said...

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww lol!

Keshi.

MAN IN PAINTING said...

lol!
burp!
loved it...
wishes for...lol!
take care

Amrita~Ams said...

@susan
thxs :)

@keshi

;) :D :)

@MAN IN Painting..
wishes for lolz..to u man..
n thxs for visit :)

Kartz said...

Yeah, sure, anytime! Are u out of the fart-mania yet..? ;)

Peace. Have a great weekend.

The Solitary Writer. said...

"Farter ko pakadna mushkil he nahi namumkin hai "

lol

wht a research yaar

personal xperience ka bhi hai kyaaa lolz

nice it is m y frnd :)

Ashish said...

A blog post on such a topic....never thought yaar...really hilarious and weird

Amrita~Ams said...

@ashish
thxs hope you lyk this weird post :P
btw thxs for the visit

hary!! said...

o sweet lord!! did'nt know there was a Phd behind farting!! i just cud'nt stop laughin at this! yu truly are a nut!!
but ewwww!!

Amrita~Ams said...

@hary..
welcome for such shocks...I promise u to make aware of more phd's in future..
yeah nut...taken it as compliment :P....
ewwwwwwwwwwwww :D :D :D

roflindian said...

Lovely piece of exemplary, descriptive analysis. Just added you blog to my blogroll :)

Amrita~Ams said...

@roflindian
:)...thxs for the visit...
n you got a nice name :D

Kunal Avaanti said...

how can i get in touch..? breathingevents@gmail.com - thats me