In the WOMB....

(This is second time i  trying my hands on poetry..but still the alert note is same ;). Dont blame me after reading this..Its purely yours choice )

It was soulful,It was Calm,

I was IN THE WOMB ,with no harm,

They taken me out,without asking me,

All were elated,even after my pain n pounce they made on me.

I looked around,there was no one I knew,

They were asking me many questions,

But I dont' know how to express,

and what answers to give.

They taught me to sing and to love,

Now I can feel all emotions flying in my blood,

Seen the lobelia n glittering sky,

Felt the airy osmosis,loved them as thy;

Time flied,they all disappeared,

I searched n cried for them a lot,

But no one came to comfort

And hugged me to say I am yours;

Now I am dead ,with all emotions killed,

Vagabond with mansion,

Free from scruple and zeal,

Still my vacuous heart desires for something.....

That,

I want to go back to the womb

where it was solitary,but Love and Peace exist !!!

Love n Peace exist!!

..........

Fart must go ONnnnn....

1...

2...

3.....And...go...

Durrr..phurr...shhhh..fusssssssphuuuuu...

phew !!!!!!

yes pass...

all the way polluting and passing unhealthy breeze..to be more precise

"Chodo Gandi hawa ka zhoka"  and  your job done!

Yes you all got it right... this art is called FARTtttttting....!!!!!

arrre wait a part of job is left...now to have to be an actor...yes...an actor..

Farting also gives you golden opportunity to show you acting skills..Look all around..the sniffing world is watching you..but only what you have to do is..Have big lo expression on ur face and a question mark on ur forehead....

kisne kiya??

koun hai jalim??

Try to give most disgusting look remember you are in acting competition with other victims..

and feel relax..who knows you are the real culprit....

"Farter ko pakadna mushkil he nahi namumkin hai "

To make this moment more relieving,give a cunning smile no less than a devil from inside..

And if you are the victim..then..take my sympathies.

I bet,the most satisfactory thing you can do on the planet..is to fart and smile all the while from inside.

But to be maestro of this art you have to be alert...

So here are some of the farting tips from inbuilt experience :P

First is: make sure you are going for a noiseless fart.....

Remember the farting law of smell :

Less the noise more the smell,thus more people and vice versa !

Note:Toh agar kam noise mai zada smell mile toh bhai bhala zada noise kyu kare..noiseless fart

na chode..(courtsey: Crapy Adds of  washing Bars ) 

Second: make sure the gas you expelled, has properly reached to the nostrils of people around you..

if not then change the angle as per the requirement and go for next fart...

Third and most important one: If your bowel is not working according to you.Or your bowels' given up and making some creepy sound.

Sometimes in the same tune as "Dhak Dhak karne laga :P" .(Sorry for snapping back this song).Then quickly call your mathematical brain out and 

Discharge the gas according to best possible calculated rate.

 For eg : 5ppm gas per second with ___pascal pressure.Thus making it noiseless fart.

Note:If the calculated rate is correct, say BINGO. Bcoz you are the next Aryabhatta.

Future extension: For making your fart more smelly,have a proper diet.Eat more beans remember less green,Chana masala,Potatoes or any of such similar stuff  which can challenge your digestive system.

Smile, laugh be happy, don't take everything in life too serious, remember its alright to fart, apparently we all do it on average  8 times a day.  

(This is called farting research :P)

You know what the---- Heights of guts :P . It is Farting on before your date.Have guts yar.Try it.

And I am not responsible for any future attyachar made on you.

Thats all !

Feel free and Proud to fart.Its good for health.

keep farting.

Luv you all..Eat well,Fart well

And keep luving me..even if you find me farting somewhere

B for Burger !

Baa baa black sheep,Have you any wool???

Yes sir Yes sir ...........blah blah blah...heck....

Now isnt this impractical???

How the hell baa baa black sheep can talk and compile humans lingo??

Let me take the pain to nourish your GK  :-

Baa Baa Black Sheep is a nursery rhyme, sung to a variant of the 1761 French

melody Ah! vousdirai-je, Maman.

Yes this is again our very own wikipedia !

Do we ever bother about this fact???..obviously NO..Because in kindergarten the only 

issue we are suppose to dealt with was SU-SU and CHi-CHi. And the difference between

the same.

Lately Generation gap is not what is between you and your parents. But now its between two successive

classes in school. The coming generation is so fast,advance and smart.Born maestro.At the time of learning ABCD,they know the difference between gay and GAY.

Few days back i met my nephew.My cousin asked him to sing nursery rhymes :

"Sonu twinkle twinkle bolo k sunao betaaaaaaaaaa?????"

He gave me a damn nasty look and didn't utter a word. It seemed ,he really wanted to kick off my ass. Then after few minutes he came back to me and started singing  "Tokyo drift - fast and furiousssssssssss".

Now that was my turn to give LO look and get startled.

S
Should I kick his ass ???

I wonder ! But its not his fault....

Being brought in a family where lullabies and rhymes are actually Enrique,Led Zeppelin,Floyd hits and where it is B for Bugger,P for Pizza,F for Figure, W for Who's Figure ? Actually mark the difference.

Forthcoming generation is damn smart.For them "baa baa black sheep"....won't work.But people overlooked the fact and still Baa Baa black sheep and all other are rocking in kindergarten.Children know all this rhymes even before going there.Thus kindergarten/playschool/pre-nursery/r any hell variant of word nursery is just formality now.

P.S:

I don't know But....

While publishing this post remains of Amir's movie Taare zameen par kept popping up in my mind.

No-No i am not Dyslexia patient.Seriously i am not.But I liked the method of that dyslexic Ishaan Awasti  remember 3x9=3 ?

Even in final year of engg,I oftently use it,to answer some of the unknown question or sometime all.It works to atleast fill the answer sheets.

Bye folks!

Enjoy and tc..

Pls. do comment otherwise I will continue writting more crap \m/